last updated on 1st January, 2001

The Newtonian Recipe Book (and Disclaimer)

We have every reason to believe that this service is very safe.

However, one rather uncharitable female suggested that the first page should carry a health warning, because 'Newtons' take such an uncommon delight in preparing whole meals made entirely of ingredients whose sell-by dates have long expired.

I personally think that this is a splendid, ecologically sound, family attribute that would be well worth striving for by all budding Proto-Newtons. I recommend that we award prizes for the oldest used ingredient unknowingly devoured at family get-togethers without causing major illness or death.

Nevertheless, we have noticed that some form of disclaimer appears to be necessary on our web-site, because otherwise readers, evidently stupid enough to follow our suggestions even to the point of obvious self injury or risk of life, will blame us for the damage they do themselves and those around them. So here goes:-

DISCLAIMER: I have personally cooked or eaten all of the recipes in this section and have, perhaps miraculously, survived. Whether you survive depends on factors outside our control and is entirely your own problem. We accept no responsibility for the untimely deaths of you or anyone you know as a result of reading our recipes.

And, by the way, the measures used here are not necessarily completely accurate, and could even be Newton-specific (like the 'Mug' measurement or the 'Splash'). Good luck.